Day 16: FINISHED FIRST DRAFT!!!!!

WOOHOO!!! All finished with my SFD!!! YAY!!!!!!!! I do a happy dance now:




I can go PARTY tonight! With lots of good company, good music, and absinthe. And, I'll be hung over tomorrow, and it's OK, because FIRST DRAFT COMPLETE! WHEW!

Day 16: Slowly but surely...

Braved the snow and went to a very nice lunch. Then I played in the snow for a while, then now I'm back to get some work done. Just taking a quick break to update this journal, since I didn't do it yesterday.

I have been working my ass off, and getting a lot of work done. Well, a lot of organizational work done, anyhow. But it's making me feel tons better, and a lot more confident about finishing up my dissertation. It's actually making it a lot more real than before.

Yesterday I downloaded all the templates that I needed for the manuscript preparation, and I put everything that I had until now in the template. What happened is that I had to add a chapter, and now I'm up to 104 pages of draft. It's definitely a SFD, but it's done! So, now I'm trying to identify all the stuff that I still have to do.

I really have to give myself credit for being so aware of how I do things. Since I started my studies, I decided on what I wanted to do, and almost all the papers I did for courses related to that. So that now come time to compose the dissertation, I can just plug stuff in where they belong, and be assured that I did all the necessary background reading that I needed to do. Anything new can just be plugged in where it needs to go. But, it's important to have the structure in before I do anything else.

Last night I also stayed up until after midnight working on my personal website, and I actually now have it to where I like it, so that I could start adding stuff to it without constantly be worried about how it looks. I am about 90% satisfied with it. It's professional, clean, and straight to the point.

And now I'm going to through the dissertation, moving things around, and adding random things here and there just to have a bulk. Because it's so huge, I need to have a way for me to get the view of the big forest before I start planting more individual trees.

And, after all is said and done, I have to pat myself on the back a little bit for being at this point. I could be fighting and whining, but no, I actually had the foresight to design my entre career in a way to lead up to this point. So that I don't have to worry about writing things from absolute scratch. Very few people do that, and I need to give myself a bit of credit. This is easy, doable, and it will be done. I just have to repeat that to myself, and not think about what I don't have control over, like my committee's reaction.

I'm going to hand in a draft to my DA, and then she can slash and burn as she wants. In the meantime, I can only control what I do, and that's about it.

Right. Time to keep going!

Day 15: Things I have to realize...

The fears will never change or go away. What will change, however, is what I do with these fears. It is my choice whether I want to let the fears direct my every move, or not. For now, until I get better at it, I am listening to what they are, acknowledging them, and then putting them gently to the side. I really don't have time to dwell on them for too long. What's ahead of me is far more brighter than what these fears are leading me to believe. There are opportunities... exciting, exhilarating opportunities! And... all I gotta do, is reach for them.

In the meantime, do my part, so the rest of the people in my environment can do theirs. I can't even begin to guess what their responses will be.. I haven't even turned anything in yet! I haven't heard a peep out of them yet! So... I'll just do my part, so they can do theirs.

Yesterday, after I had my little rant on here, trying to figure out what's going on, I did realize that this personal accountability is a fundamental stumbling block for me. That too is coupled with the desire to "please" people.

Classic example....

I was looking over the IRB that I did at the hospital, because I wanted to incorporate parts of it into my dissertation. After I read it, I was taken aback, because it just did not sound like anything I would say. It was brilliant, articulate, analytical, and just... well... perfect! I thought that the person with whom I collaborated had changed it, so I actually went out of my way to see where she made the changes. She didn't. It was all me. I actually wrote those brilliant paragraphs. And boy were they good!

Looking back on why the quality is so good, I realized that at the time I was writing the proposal, I did not want to seem like a "wishy-washy" social scientist. I wanted to write authoritatively, confidently, and like I know exactly what the hell I'm talking about. And, I did! It's a challenge, I think. I approached it from a "screw you! I can do this!", and it worked. But, I think it was also more than the "screw you" part. I wanted to present myself as a medical anthropologist; as someone who can speak to medicine. My writing, in essence, validated me and my discipline, and made me seem worthy to get in there, and do my work.

So, maybe I'm approaching my dissertation in a completely wrong way. I'm going into it with the "this is going to be a shitty product, but I don't care", attitude. I don't think that really works for me. I need to go in there with the "I know what the hell I'm talking about, and you're going to listen to me, and be convinced that I know what the hell I'm talking about". This is not a joke. I did good work.. in fact, some of the first of its kind. And, I have a lot of excellent ideas and insights. And, I do make contributions to the field, even if they are very minor at this point. But, give me two years, and see what I do with it.

Screw this. I'm not a student anymore. Well... on paper I'm a student, but if the IRB is any indication, then I am a professional, and I will approach this dissertation professionally.

And, if nothing else, I will be able to use parts of it as a grant proposal! Which is what I intend to do with it anyhow.

Yeah! I kick butt and I take names, baby!



Now... For today's schedule...

I'm debating whether I want to go out and gather some data for the quantitative part, or I want to try to put the structure of the entire dissertation together based on what I've already written in other places, and based on the outline that I have. Then, when I start analyzing the data, I'll know exactly where to plug them. That way, I can probably knock off at least two, potentially, three chapter drafts. Even if they're short. That's ok. As long as I have the structure from which to work.

Yeah... Maybe I'll do that.



So, tomatoes for today: 6x25

1x25 - This journal entry

1x25
1x25
1x25
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1x25   

Day 14: Maybe....?

8:16 am: Here today
Faffed enough already this morning! Been up for two hours, and been messing around the web to make my personal webpage better, which means that this will be the tenth template I've changed... NOT doing that today!

On the menu for the day: Complete and send out the outline. I need it off my desk ASAP!

Here are my tomatoes for the day:

Outline completion: 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25

Here goes!

4:37 pm: Whew! Outline sent to committee!

Outline and abstract sent to committee, with a question about finalizing the defense date!

YIKES!!!!

Outline completion: 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25

Whew! I feel a huge sense of accomplishment. This is a huge step for me.

I also made a Projects List, and lined up a friend who's going to be my editor. She's known as a grammar-junkie, so hopefully, that will work.

I earned the port and chocolate tonight! (my treat for working all day)

Day 14: The "groove" escapes me

Every morning I wake up with a sense of dread of what awaits me during the day. Is what I'm doing worth it? Is my sanity worth it? Every day feels like an endless fight with a twelve year old to "shut up, sit down, and do your homework!". This is very frustrating. I have so much self-doubt as I go through this every. single. day. And, no matter what, it doesn't ease up. It's there. Always in the back of my head.

The worst part of this ordeal is my inability to focus. Not because I have attention problems (which I do), but because I am resisting what lays ahead. Every fiber of my being feels like it's resisting the task at hand. This is most unpleasant.

What I'm going through is a little difficult to articulate. What is it that's scaring me so much? What is it that's so painful that I refuse to do it consciously, and especially, subconsciously? Is it the fear of success or the fear of failure? Am I afraid of my sheer brilliance, or my sheer ignorance? The more I know, the less I know. The more I do, the more I feel like I haven't even begone to scratch the surface. And, I have no guidance to do it at all. I feel like I'm completely doing this on my own. That's it. No guidance. No mentorship. Nada.

No wonder I feel so bad about the whole thing! I am worried that my committee will spring something on me at the last second, and I will be unable to address it. Because they're getting my dissertation a month before they're expected to be at my defense, I'm worried that they have so many changes that I did not get the chance to address beforehand. I'm especially worried about one of the committee members. She was supposed to have been helping me all along, and because of various problems, she just withdrew. I don't expect much from her. But, I especially hope she doesn't freak out at the last minute, and ask for insane changes.

Part of this is based on previous experiences. While she hasn't failed anyone that I know of, I know she can be quite brutal in exams. In fact, she can be quite a killer in defenses. At this point, I think (hope?) that all my committee is concerned about is for me to finish. Just finish the darned thing, and get it over with. They all want to move on, and I know they care enough about me to want me to get out of there ASAP! I, then, have to do my part, so they can do theirs.

That's all I need to be focusing on. Doing my part. Whether I do it well or not is not the question. This is not a masterpiece, and I don't expect it to be as such. It just has to be over and done with. Everything else is irrelevant.

All that said, I think there are three things that are going in my head:

1. I have plenty of time to get this done (which I don't, really).
2. I don't want to do it (which in a way, I do).
3. I trust myself too much (or enough to know that I can do it)

The time factor is always elusive for me. I always think I have more time than I really do, which ultimately puts me in a bind, because I leave myself two days to do a monumental. BUT... and this is a HUGE but... I almost always come through... IF I know that the deadline is absolutely firm and non-negotiable. When HS was my drill sargent, her deadlines was absolutely non-negotiable, and I actually really liked that. Because, I didn't have room to budge, and I could not negotiate with myself. But, as she slipped, and her deadlines started slipping, and she began to show signs of frailty, I started being able to negotiate with myself, and that led to just not my being on top of things.

Again, part of this is the fact that I don't feel like there are consequences for not meeting my deadlines. If I don't finish things on time, then I can always do things the next time around. I feel like I can always push and negotiate.

Hmm... Maybe the issue was not only HS's deadlines. But, I was worried that if I did not meet her deadlines, then I would lose her as a mentor. And so, I always wanted to try harder to "please" her. In a way, she was almost like a motherly figure to me. A very stern, yet compassionate, motherly figure to me. That's what I need. I don't feel like I can take that role with myself. I don't have that stern-ness anymore. Even with C, while she tries to be stern, she's really sweet about it, and she's busy all the time that I don't feel all that accountable to her.

So... here are the combinations of what I'm dealing with:

1. I don't feel like I am accountable to anyone (which explains why I'm always so determined to get my teaching/grading done on time).
2. I....

Hmm... I think that's the source of my problems. I don't feel like I'm accountable to anyone. Even the mini-deadlines I set for myself along the way, that I post on boards and everything, really ultimately, don't mean a thing. There are no immediate and tangible consequences for what I'm failing to do.

In other words, if I don't get my teaching prep done on time, I don't have anything to lecture about in class. And that would lead to the students hating me, bad evaluations, my chair finds out, and then I get "disciplined".

But, if I don't write this section NOW... I can always stay up next week and finish it then. And if I don't finish it then, well, then I just won't graduate on time, and is that really bad?

This is a terrible bind to be in. I think I need to raise the stakes somehow. But how? I have no strict deadlines for the mini-tasks, no one to feel accountable to for the mini-tasks. All of that adds up to my not feeling any sense of urgency to get things done.nd so, I go back from where I started.

1. I have plenty of time to get this done (which I don't, really).
2. I don't want to do it (which in a way, I do).
3. I trust myself too much (or enough to know that I can do it)

I had not realized how important and significant this accountability issue was for me. And now that I do, what do I do about it? How can I raise the stakes so I can feel like I'm getting something done? That's what I need to figure out.

I don't know what the best way to tackle this is. I can send C a daily email about what I'm doing, but I don't think that'll go over very well, especially since she's traveling, and might not be able to access her emails, or would want to wade through her emails.

I can send her a link to an accountability page, and have her see it whenever she likes... But, that still leaves me a way out.

Damn it. NO idea what to do!

She did give me a task of sending her a weekly update on what I've been up to. Maybe I can include a daily run-down of my tasks just so she knows that I'm working on it. And, if there's a day when I didn't work, she could ask me about it. Maybe that would be a good idea.

This turned out to be a much longer post that I anticipated. But, I had set my timer for 25 minutes, and here I am twenty five minutes later. And, just for the record, after I copied and pasted this in Word, it was 2.5 pages single spaces long. If I can write in stream of consciousness like this, I could be finished in no time!

Hah! That's funny. If it takes me 25 minutes to write 2.5 pages, and I need to write 100 single space pages, then that should take me 18.33 hours of non-stop writing to get the entire thing written. Of course, there are breaks, and sometimes it takes me longer to write a paragraph or a page, but, essentially, this is all it takes.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could do that in one run, and then go back to it and write what I need in there, and edit, etc? Like my SFD to be like that? Yeah...

Yikes!

Day 13: This is not moving any faster!

4:49 PM: Getting back to it... I hope!

Pulling teeth is starting to look very attractive these days after struggling to get one paragraph on the page.

I'm working on an expanded outline, and that's enough to send me into a major anxiety attack. All I can do is "bit by bit". That's it. Just take small morsels in 1x20 or 1x25, and move on to the next one. Eventually, it will add up.

Just gotta keep telling myself that.

Ok.. Now on to the next 1x25. Spent some time chatting with mom, and that took a while. 

9:39 pm: Only worked 1:20 hours


Eventually, I did get myself to sit down and get some work done. But, that didn't last for too long. I worked less than an hour and a half. However, I didmanage to finish the dissertation draft, version 1.0. Now working on a complete edit and rewrite. My goal is to finish it tomorrow.

What worked today:

1. Finally sitting down with Instant Boss, and setting the timer for 20 minutes at a time. 
2. Trying to set tiny tiny milestones along the way
3. Seeing the trees instead of the entire forest all at once
4. Reminding myself that all I can do is one small step at a time
   

What didn't work today: 

1. Going in to the office
2. Catching up on email
3. Checking email every single fifteen minutes
4. Switching browsers to check Facebook and Twitter. Seriously.. If I have them blocked in one browser, why is it ok for me to switch browsers to check them?
5. Eating a lot of chocolate
6. Drinking a lot of caffeine that made me monkey-brained, and unfocused
7. Checking PhinisheD all the time, but that can be a little motivating, so I'm going to leave it
8. Being anxious and worried that this will never work!
9. Working on my personal websites BEFORE getting any real work done
   

I'm so tempted to delete all my online accounts until I get this done.

So, tomorrow's goals:

1. Complete Outline 1.0
2. Revise outline
3. Complete Outline 1.2
4. Revise Outline
5. Complete Outline 1.3
6. Revise Outline
7. Complete Outline 2.0
8. Email outline to committee

Chat with my TA about final exam.

Day 8: Running tally of whining and moping

10:22 am: Ok.. that didn't go on as expected!

Realized that I had not been backing up my data or anything, and that sent me into, of course, a heart attack! And, I need to keep my work computer and my laptop sync'ed up so I don't have to keep going to the office to get data I'm working on.

I signed up for Dropbox, and hopefully, that'll take care of it. It's a virtual online storage and syncing service that gives you 2 gigs free. If anyone is interested in signing up, please let me know, because when you sign up on my referrals, I get more storage

Anyhow... Shower time, and then meeting DH for lunch, and then I'll be back to transcriptions. I just have two left. One that's two hours long, and one that's one hour long. It might be another long night, but after that, I'm done with this evil process!


1:04 pm: I'm doing a (small) happy dance!

Went to my office, and indeed I found I had five interviews already transcribed! I thought I did, but then this morning's panic attack made me doubt that. So now thanks to Dropbox, I can get those, and bask in the wonder that is 300 pages of transcriptions! Yeah.. that'll be fun to get through.

But.. no matter... I have two interviews ONLY to do. One long one, and one short one, and I'm done! The short one is actually very funny, so I'm looking forward to it.

I'm loaded with Dunkin' Donuts coffee, and I'm ready to go!



3:12 pm: Fading fast... NOT GOOD!
Last night's staying up until 3:30 was probably not the wisest thing because I've spent the entire day in a fog. And now, I'm in a worse shape than I was this morning, and I faffed that away!

I only have 5 minutes out of this long interview completed.. UGH!

I'm here for the rest of afternoon/night. I have to wrap presents, but that's the only other thing on the agenda.


3:57 pm: Better time, less energy


My timing on the typing is getting slightly better. So that I did about ten minutes in about a half an hour. It's still in the 1:3 ratio, but at least it's somewhat consistent.

Now that I'm almost done with the transcriptions, I wonder what the uniting theme is. I don't think there is one. I think there are snapshots of different women's experiences, and some of their struggles and histories. Other than that, there's really no uniting theme... Yet. I'm sure something will come up at some point. But, the trend I was hoping to get is not there. Ah well. Not sure how to handle that.

8:10 pm: <Insert witty quip here>


My fantasy of finishing up all my transcriptions prior to departure tomorrow will just not be realized. I have to complete one tonight, which will take another two to three hours, and the other one... well, I don't know. Maybe when I get back. Ugh.

So... here, soon I'll go for my evening Earl Grey tea ritual, and slog through the rest of the

9:00 pm: I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel

As much as this is an incredibly unpleasant task, it's quite interesting. I wish, however, that I had taken better notes right before and after I did the interview, because now there are some contextual things that I'm missing from my memory, which is too bad.

9:58 pm: Must. Not. Have. Ideas!

I hate when in the middle of a transcription, my brain is spinning because i thought of something interesting that'll send me on a while goose chase. I should be satisfied with making a note of it, and getting back to the interview. But no. I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWERS AND THE DATA RIGHT NOW!

*sighs*

Sometimes this monkey brain, I swear! (picture source: http://www.squidoo.com/monkeybrain/hq)


12:26 am: One more down!

FINALLY finished my last long interview! YAY!! *does a happy jig*

I'm going to crash now, because I earned my sleep. And then wake up very early and finish the last interview, and then let the festivities begin! I'll be away until Saturday, and I'm not even going to think about anything diss related! WOOHOO!!

Day 8: I keep waking up in nightmares

First thing that popped into my mind today was "Damn! I don't have enough interviews!" And then I started counting all the interviews I had, and I'm stopping short at 9, which I know is not correct. I'm convinced I have more interviews at school that I don't have on my laptop, and I simply forgot to synch them. So I might go to school in a little while, and try to get those.

Second thing that popped in mind was "Lord help me, I don't wanna sit in that damn chair again for 12 hours again today!"

This process really sucks!

And here's my pep talk for the day:

I really think I should give myself HUGE pat on the back! It's definitely not easy to be here while everyone is out shopping, and trying to enjoy the holiday spirit. It's a stinky process, yet I to do it. That says a lot about who I am, and my determination to get this thing written and over with, so I can move to another project. If my committee decides to fail me at this point, it will say more about them, than about me. I want this thing to be brilliant, but I don't think it will, and we all have to live with that!



image source: www.weallwantsomeone.org/

Day 7: More transcription woes

I'm chronicling entries from another forum, because, you know, one needs to chronicle misery.

7:59 pm:

Finished the first half of the interview, and about to start on the next one. First, though, I think I need some Earl Grey tea to keep me awake.

I'm determined to finish this interview tonight. It'll probably be close to midnight when I do, and but by golly, I will!

10:17 pm: (still here!)


This interview is killing me! This woman is just... AHH! I have thirty minutes left, which translates to roughly 90 minutes.

So yeah, I'm here until at least 11:30 EST.


11:09 pm: Chug-a-chug-a

18 more minutes to go, and I'm done with the interview from hell!

oh no! I just realized that I split the interview into four different files, and there are two more in addition to the 18 left on this one! That makes 38 minutes left! NO!!!

Ugh! One word at a time, at this point.. seriously.

12:05 am: I can't figure out why it's taking me so long!

I posted on here at 11:00, and only transcribed 11 minutes? That really doesn't sound right at all! Ugh. When will this interview end??

I'm about to dive in my next half hour with this interview... ARGH!

Incidentally, I have so far, 31 single spaced pages with this interview! Arial 12 font. And, I still have 27 more minutes to go. Heaven help me! 

12:46 am: Staring on the third recording...


this one is 11 minutes long... so that should take me until 1:30 am.

Yeah... long night!!

1:45 am: 9 more minutes!


This one recording is out of synch, and my last track was cutting out all over the place. I made the mistake of turning on that feature that shuts off the recorder if no one is talking, which is one of the worst features ever created! It kept cutting off my conversations when the person would get soft spoken. So I lost a lot of stuff, but it's not disastrous. Just had to keep my blood pressure a little low as I got through it.

Now, one more "track" for 9 minutes, and I'm finished!


3:11 am: Finished the transcription!

38 pages of single spaces! Whew!!! Spent the entire day on this interview, but it's finally finished!! YAY!

I have one more interview like it tomorrow (but more enjoyable, and less rambly), and two shorter ones.

It's 3:07 am, and I'm ready to crash for a well-deserved sleep!

Day 7: Comparison with VR

I tried the voice recognition, and at this point, it's just not worth my time. It's actually more frustrating than anything else, and when I compared the listening-typing to listening-dictation, I learned that the listening-dictation added 8 minutes to my transcription time for 5 minutes! That's insane!

Here's the breakdown:

Voice Recognition: 5 minutes of recording time - 24:56 minutes of transcription (I had to go back a bunch of times to fix errors).

Straight Typing: 5 minutes of recording time - 16:28 minutes of transcription

So.. yeah... I simply don't have the time to train a VR system right now. It's crunch time for me, and don't need to be wasting my time with this.

Day 7: I DON'T WANNA!!!

Chronicling a post I made elsewhere...

Ended up wasting three hours this morning by procrastinating (although while it was happening, I had better terms for it).

Didn't start transcribing until about 1:17, and did 2 hours, and only got through 16 minutes of the interview! That's NOT acceptable!!

Voice transcription is starting to seem to me like it's slower than typing. Hmm... How would I test that?

On the other hand, this woman just talks and talks and talks and talks. Some of it is good for a life history, but other stuff, it's just fluff. I DON'T CARE! Ugh.

Ok.... Now that's off my chest....


Time to get back to it.

Day 7: This is SOOO annoying!

I hate doing transcriptions! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!!!!!

ACK!!!!!

Grr...

My goal today is to transcribe Laura's interview. That will probably end up taking me the entire day.

If I'm going on a 1:3 ratio in terms of transcriptions, I could, theoretically, do two today. But they're so incredibly soul suckingly draining that I just need to take frequent breaks.

In terms of work, here's what I still have to do before I can even start the analysis!

- Laura - 3 hours - 9 hours of transcription (HOLY JEEBUS!)
- Mary - 53 minutes - 3 hours of transcription
- Zima - 2 hours - 6 hours
- Nisa - 1 hour- 3 hours

Crap. So, between all of them, I have 22 hours of transcriptions. If I work 10 hours today, and 10 hours tomorrow, I should finish them before I take off for break on Thursday. Well, now that's a goal to aspire to.

I'm going to try the voice recognition again, and see if that makes any difference. I really do hope it does. Because this is a royal pain in the neck.

Day 6: Transcriptions

I did two transcriptions today. Well, I actually finished one that I started last night, and did a full one today. So that's 1.5.

I have in total 11 interviews, and I have four more interviews to transcribe, including two that are a little more than two hours.

Heavens help me!

Interviews left:
- Laura - 3 hours
- Mary - 53 minutes
- Zima - 2 hours
- Nisa - 1 hour

More day 6: Transcriptions

This interview I just finished transcribing is actually relatively decent! I asked all the right questions, I probed in all the right places, and I got some very interesting stuff.

I have one more interview from this population, and then I have three or four or five more from another population, and then, I think, I'm finished. I really ought to know how many interviews I have in total. This is ridiculous.

Day 6 (cont): This discomfort is temporary

I can put up with anything for a month. I have to keep remembering that. I just have to push and push, and just get through this one month. And then, I'll deal with the "then" later.

But for now... One month. That's all. Just give it my all and my best!

I need more cheerleaders in my life.

Day X: What day am I on again?

I don't know what day I am on, and when I should have started counting. I think I started counting December 15, and here we are six days later, and I'm still nowhere to be done with my transcriptions.

But, I am making progress. Well, as much as it is humanly possible to do so, considering what I have to deal with.

Today's goal is to finish two interviews. I think that puts me at 6-7. Reason why I can't remember how many I have is because I left the other ones at the office, and just don't feel like venturing out in the snow to get them. Working at home is working for now, so I just have to keep doing it.

What is NOT working, is being distracted by my friend who is going through a crisis. I can't be up chatting online until 11:30, and expect to be up ready for work. I actually didn't get myself out of bed until about 7:30. That's very late for me!

Oh.. interviews... why won't you just transcribe yourselves and save me the headache?

I think what might end up happening is that I will not finish the transcriptions until right before Christmas, which means that as soon as I return from Christmas on Saturday, I will have all my data transcribed, and I'll be good to go. Incha'allah!

Day 5: Still transcribing interviews

There needs to be a shift in the way I think about transcriptions. There are some basic things that I know:

1. They stink.
2. They're really a pain in the neck.
3. They take way too long to do.

But, they are absolutely fundamental to the research, and they all have to be done verbatim. I can do this on my own (which is preferable), or I can use my time more efficiently and ask someone else to do them.

As I said, I think I will give this until Tuesday for me to finish up the transcriptions. After that, I'm handing off the rest to someone else.

But, in the meantime, all I need to focus on is this interview, and try to wrap it up.

After I am finished, there's a nice bottle of expensive port waiting for me with some nice chocolate.

And, tonight, after all is said and done (in about 9 hours), I get to see Doctor Who "Waters of Mars", which I'm very excited about. Coupled with some pizza, and I'm having an awesome night. That'll be my reward for getting through these interviews.

Day 3: The worst part about this....

There are two "worst part" about this thing...

1. I absolutely hate transcribing interviews. There are lots of other I could be doing with my time.

2. I hate transcribing interviews because there's really nothing else I can do while doing it to make go any faster, or any smoother. Usually when I'm dreading working, I put on some music, and that makes things go faster. Not so with transcriptions. It has to have my full attention. It's a pain in the neck, is what it is! Ugh.

Maybe I should pay someone to transcribe, at least, the English interviews, so maybe I can focus on something that's a little more digestible.

I don't know... I'm going to give it until Tuesday, and then if I'm not finished by then, I'm going to pay someone to do it for me. I'm sick of this.

That didn't go over very well...

I ended up writing absolutely nothing worth of any substance for the entire month of November.

On the other hand, I did finish the outline for my dissertation, and a very preliminary first chapter (Chapter 2, the literature review). I just wanted to get the structure completed before I go on any further.

When I spoke to her last week, she thought that the outline was right on track, the chapter looked relatively OK. But, she recommended I make some minor changes to the outline, and write a paragraph for each section, and then, send it off to the committee. We also agreed that a tentative defense date was March 26. She thought it would totally be doable, which I have my doubts about, but whatever.

So, after I send them the revised outline, I'm to proceed with writing like a madwoman, until it's finished!

Classes officially ended on Monday. Finals are due tonight for the students, and final grades are due by January 4, leaving my TA and I plenty of time to get all the grading done, and the final grade calculations completed.

So, I have a list as long as my head of things I need to do, which ultimately include getting all my stuff together in one place, and just going for it.

In another post I'll write why that's been difficult to do... but that's for another time.